“I have learned that my total organismic sensing of a situation is more trustworthy than my intellect.” Carl R. Rogers

Sexuality 

Why is sexuality so powerful?

Sexual intimacy is a celebration of vulnerability; it touches the softest and wildest part in each person, the most tender and yet powerful part of a human being; our life force and essence.

Most of us desire authentic relationships but we can be afraid to experience true vulnerability, to lose control. This makes it difficult to ever experience aliveness and vitality in our relationships. Being comfortable with your vulnerability is perhaps the ultimate intimacy. The question is: How can we really let go and understand our unique sexuality and intimacy needs as the truly meaningful forces that they are? Imagine for a moment that we find out what our needs are, find our voice, and dare to ask to get our needs met.

Sexuality can be broken down in to 4 main areas:

  • Sexual essence, vitality and life force.
  • Sexual orientation or preference.
  • Sexual identity.
  • Erotic nature and sexual relations.

Some of us have fear around sharing our most tender and paradoxically wild and erotic selves. We may have shame-based feelings, past traumas and we may not know how to bring the tender and wild together. We may not even believe its possible that good satisfying sex and love can truly co-exist, especially in the long term. As human beings we appear to live in the paradox of needing love, a secure base and the familiar, and the opposite need for novelty, adventure and the unknown. With these conflicting needs its no wonder that relationships can struggle and desire and excitement can fade.

Perhaps difficult, yet essential questions to ask ourselves are:

  • Is it possible to be loved in our innocence and wild self, and can I reciprocate?
  • What keeps passion and desire alive in relationships?
  • How can I feel securely loved and feel vitality, aliveness and erotic with the 'familiar' other?
  • How can I remain authentic in a committed relationship without the fear of losing parts of myself, or losing the other?

I welcome you to get in touch if you have a desire to have authentic relationships. If you feel blocked, bored, disillusioned or caught in the blandness of compromise without truly feeling alive in your relationships. If your struggling with sexual orientation or sexual identity, and if you feel  a sense of shame around your sexual behaviour.

For many of us who dare to get honest about all the shades our sexuality, it is a fluid, on-going and hopefully exciting process.  I believe that if we can breathe life and vitality into our sexuality, then life, as a result will become a more exciting, satisfying and fulfilling journey.

I am committed to bringing compassion and the right amount of humour to what we find most uncomfortable and challenging in ourselves. I offer a safe, relaxed and confidential space to explore sexuality and relationships issues. Sexuality and our erotic self is personal and unique for us all, some may even say, sacred.  I invite you to give your sexuality and its many shades a voice.

"The real voyage of discovery consists, not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes." Marcel Proust